Take · a · walk · with · me

Our studio is haunted. Yes!! Aint it exciting! ha ha! No wait. Exciting isnt the right word for it. Hmmm... whatever. its amazing. I'll tell you how the entire hauntings happen.

Out studio is an old one. Very old. Its a huge place. Being a studio, the open spaces and halls are very big. The studio is divided into 2 rooms. One is a bit smaller than the second. The main mix room is a theatre. The hauntings are like if any one is alone in the second studio after 3 in the morning, he gets slapped. Yes. The face goes red. Sometimes, when the work is so much, we sleep there only in the studio. Most of the days, we end up waking somewhere else. Sometimes in the front of the toilet. The most hilarious one was when the boy here woke up with his head in the speaker!!

In the main studio where I work (mostly i work at nights and days combined!!), at around 3 in the morning, the sound goes off. You cant hear a thing. Nothing works. All is fine and smooth, yet nothing works. Just no sound. The system, the software everything is ok. Suddenly at 3:30 or so, it pops up again! Voila! everything is back to normal! Another strange occurance that happens is the arrival of fax at 3 or so in the morning. All the faxes are blank. But let me tell you... that scared the shit out of me. Why? the sound of paper tearing in the morning at 3 doesnt sound like paper tearing.. it sounds like some one is in a meat crusher... only no screams are heard....

We have intercoms in our studio. At nights when we are highly concentrating on a mix and are doing it... the intercom beeps. We can see the signal coming from the machine room. But no one is there. the moment i leave the room, the beep stops. When i enter the machine room, the beep comes into the machine room. This time the signal is sent from the mix room. I went back and forth a few times. I got tired and thought..what the heck. I unhooked the phone!! :)

Sometimes in the mornings when i am in the bathroom of the studio, having a bath, the door is banged violently. The entry to the room is via another door. Anyone opening that door will have to close his ears cause its very loud. Still, bangs happen.

Oh and we have infrared cams that are motion sensing. So when at night all these things were happening, i went and looked at the cam. None were recording. Except... the one in the mix hall... and the one in the corridoor... where there were none and no movement and it was almost dark...

And to think i mixed films like Grudge and Omen here at night! and am designing for a haunted film now!

I am soooo happy. The kunjoo project has been receiving a very good response. It makes me very happy that people are appreciating the effort. So, Here I am posting the link for the first song of that project. This is for all my LJ friends. Do let me know the feedback!
I may not be that good a composer, or writer. But this initiative is to satisfy a few points:

1. Provide a platform for talented people whose work will not be noticed and whose work gets released in other's name.
2. Get the beautiful and cultural music and lyrics in our land out to the masses.
3. Provide better quality audio to the masses for free. Most people are used to hearing mp3s. If so, hear good quality mp3!! The audio cds will be provided on request. (we are also planning a 5.1 audio version.)
4. This is not for fame or money for us, but for good music and better enjoyment. This is not a publicity stunt.

Download the song here.

or alternately, listen online here

If you liked the song, please forward the links to your friends.

Music: Aby Salvin, Vinu Thomas, Blessen, Joji George
Singers: Vinu, Noushad, Blessen and ofcourse Meeee!!
Engineers: Ganesh Marar, Saji A.R., Meeee.
Mixing and Additional Programming: Meeeee!!

My room is an average room with a bedroom, kitchen, hall, and 2 toilets. But my room mates arent the average ones. We talk and talk till about 3-4 in the morning every single day. The moment we sleep, things take a toss! There are situations where you feel like you have entered a police station. You have some hitting you on the nose with their elbow, or kicking you in the b**ls with their knee. Oh and none of this is intentional!! So this is called the Police station pose!
The next pose is the Shakuntala pose. One of them sleeps in a manner where its as if shakuntala is standing with the water pot on her hip and trying to get the thorn out of her toe. You have to see it to believe it!
Then we have the footballer. I dont have to mention that he is the striker!!! Unfortunately for him, he was the goalie one day!! He was saying that he couldnt walk the next day!
Then next is the stretcher. He kinda always sleeps straight like a log as if a patient is on a stretcher! Of course he has the occasional turn around. And the turning point is that he never sleeps parallel on the bed. He ends up being a log on us!!
Then you have the jigsaw. The reason we call it so is because he fits into any kind of position between people!
Then you have the leech. Dont worry, its lot got anything to do with his behaviour!! its just that you've heard the malayalam adage "Attaye pidichu methayil kidathiyaal athu kidakillallo" (A leech wouldnt lie on a bed). Thats just it. He keeps rolling off to the floor!!

There its the sleeping patterns. My next write up would be about our topic of discussions and the discussions themselves!

Here I am. Over the hill, where I can look across at the town. I see it there, silent, serene, so calm. I see people, going about on their daily work. Things weren't always like this. Our team wasn't always like this.

Now that you see us, we look good. Things werent so smooth and good going a few months back. We were the worst team in the game. I remember making it. Going across houses, talking to the youngsters in every house where I could find a pair of sneakers. Telling them, trying to bring them into the game. Thats what it was for most of them. A game. But football isn't just a game. Its more.
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Its more than just a game for me. When you have just a few months to live and you realize that there are things unfinished in your life, you would see everything as more than just a game. Whispers seem more than just words for me. It wouldn't be wrong if I said that I would be critical of everything I say and do. Because thats all I have time for.
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Football is like cancer. It spreads in you even when you don't want it. Even when you dont wanna think of it, there's nothing you can do, but feel it. You can't will it to go away. But unlike cancer, it doesn't have the pain with it. It isn't a jail. I realised that 4 months ago when doctors diagnosed me with one. I didn't wanna cry. There were so many unfinished things in my life. I was broken down. Not because I wanted to live. But because I couldn't play the game I wanted. This was where I feel alive. That was what pushed me into making the team.
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"I am not your friend. I dont care what you feel now. Because when you are in the field, its a war. And a war is not fought by just defense. You cant concentrate on just the battle. Its the war that you have to win. I don't care if your leg hurts, or if you feel tired, or your girlfriend left you. If i say shit, you say how much. You have to go and keep going. Even when I am not there.  This will game will be your gift to me." This is what I told them when training. I was hard. Sometimes to the extent of being brutal, I know. But call it my selfishness, if you will. It was more than that for me. No one realises the strength and worth of being able to run, to walk, to play. More importantly, the ability to win. No one realised the power of dreams. Dreams are not only seen when you sleep. They are with you. They stay with you even when you are awake. The sad part of the dreams, is that you wake up. But thats when you either make it real, or let it remain in your dreams. No one realises life, and the pain on losing it.
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The game was there. They lead 5-2. Things were not looking good. In fact, I needed luck. I needed more, I needed a miracle. "Look at this. Is this what we went through for? Is this what we pained for? We need this game. I dont know what you do after this game, what you do with your life or friends, that doesn't bother me. But this is your gift to me. I know that I cant be around. I know that things arent easy. But later, when I look over the hill, through the seasons, I want to know, to see the joy, the tears, the happiness of this game. The only thing that makes this different....different from a battle...is love for it. You cant love a battle, but you can love the game...and fight for it like war. War for all that you care and love. War for all the pain and endurance we put in. War for the prize and the joy. If you done wanna play it for you, dont...but atleast play it for me." It was half-time when I said that.
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Things took a different turn after that. The game was different. The ball switched sides. I knew we were winning by the cheer i heard. They were a whole new team. This was a miracle. This was magic. I could see it in their eyes, as the referee blew the final whistle that announced our victory. I was happy. I could never have been so happier in my life. I could see it through their eyes, their joy, the muffled cheer of the crowd, the hoorays, and laughter. I let it all sink in. Into me. Into my self. Slowly, it faded away, away in to the distance. People were around, doing something to me. It didnt matter. I still was happy. I could see tears, were they of joy? I dont know. I assumed so. I lie there in the ground. Closed my eyes. And the tunnel of light came to me.  You know when death is coming. You know it cause you remember your life more than you lived it. So you just pray to God that when you were alive, you did something worthwhile that makes people remember you.
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So here I am, over the hill. Looking over the seasons. Times have changed. I dont know if they play anymore. But I do know one thing. When life is short, there's a lot to live for. I lived through. And in my eternal sleep, I still am happy. Happy to be where I am, over the hill.
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This inspiration is dedicated to a friend of mine, who left me years ago.

Today is my mom's birthday. I am very very bad in remembering dates. But never has she scolded me for it. (Unlike me.) Unfortunately, I am not near her for this birthday. But mom knows that. She might be the only mom in the world who calls up her sons in the morning asking what they wish for. Thats how she reminds me of her birthday. This is for you mom. You never knew I write. I never let you know I did. Though I wished you, there is much more I want to tell you...


Happy Birthday Mom.

It was not long ago when i picked up a pack of cards and started playing around with it. But its also not long since I have even come close to mastering the art. There were times when my fingers ached, and I was puffed with frustration. But I was always amazed by the wonders of the human hand. A well performed sleight of hand looks like an ordinary, natural and completely unsuspicious change in hand position or body posture. Unfortunately, many who witness this, attribute it to the fact that the hand is quicker than the eye. More often, such is not the case. It takes months and sometimes, even years of practise to get even close to what one would call real magic. There are times when I have performed, I have noticed that its not easy. My first two years or so, saw no one getting the reaction that i expected them to get. I was sad. I couldn't figure out why. I took to more practise. My hands sometimes hurt a lot. Rather, my fingers hurt a lot. It was then that one day, out of nowhere, I came to the conclusion. Once, during one of my dumb performances,  (this is what i usually name my mirror practise sessions which takes most of my time!!), I was able to surprise myself. Although, it happened as a fluke accident, (I think its called serendipity or something!), this taught me something very powerful. As long as you dont believe what you are doing, no one else will. Immediately, I ran to my mom to show her my trick. My mom said "dhey thudangi avanum avante magicum. Nee aa paisa eduthadathu vekkenam, allenkil adi medikkum." (There he goes again with his magic. Keep that coin back to where you took it from, or you are gonna get a beating from me.)

I knew that it was just words, and that she really liked what i usually did with coins or cards, though the effect was just barely around it. So this time I said "Illa ammu, (thats what i call her affectionately!), ithu kaanu. ithu vere aanu. Paisa njan vekkaam." (No, mom, look at this. This is different. I'll keep the coin back.) So I proceeded to show her the trick. I simply vanished the coin off my fingertips. Now, I must say, that I have shown this in various forms atleast a dozen times to her, and usually, she just said good. This time, however, she stood there. Yes, she just stood there and after a pause, caught my hands and were shaking them to see if something fell out or not. Giving up, she asked "Paisa enthiye?" (Where's the coin?) "Daa avide" (It is there.) I said, pointing to the place where she usually keeps it. I went and picked it up and showed it to her. She didn't know what to say. She just went back to her cooking.

That was my first lesson. But my praise didn't come till the evening. My dad came and said. "Amma paranju nee puthiya entho kaanichu. Entha athu?" (Mom said you did something new. What was that?) Why is this a praise? Simple. My dad never asked me to show him a trick or repeat it. But this time he was struck!

Later that night I marvelled at the power of believing. There was nothing new in the trick I did. But this time when I performed, I tried to surprise myself. It did wonders. I realised that all this time, I was just playing the part of a magician. But then when your hands do something that is truly amazing, just like that, thats real magic when you believe it. The secret? ha ha. Sometimes, secrets are so absurdly simple that its an embarassment to reveal it. But more than the trick, its the pure joy you see when there is someone in front of you wondering if what you just did was for real...

This is something I try most of the time. If you are reading this, I want you to work with me on this. No, its not any trick or anything. Its just an experiment. I want to know how much success rate I will have. Please read every word and do as it is said.

This is what I want you to do. I want you to go with me. Dont think of any particular card. Dont think of your favourite card too. Just think of one that will come along.

I want you to see a bright card. A card that you feel. Dont make it too obvious, any strange odd card. Lets make it harder and maybe you can skip thinking of the Kings, Queens, Jack or Aces as they are too obvious. Think of an odd card. A bright one that your mind and heart feels is the one. Imagine the number on it on the top and bottom corner. Do you have it? Dont make it very simple. Let the strange and odd one be big, no not the seven!. Let it be one that your heart values much. Something way beyond the ordinary middle men. Do you have it? Good. Now stick with it. Dont change your mind. I may be right, I may be wrong, but you definitely have to feel and concentrate on that card...
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Is the card red in color?

Yes?. Good proceed.

Is the card, a heart?
Yes? Good proceed.

Is the card numbered?
Yes? Good Proceed.

Is the card odd?
Yes? Good Proceed.
















Is the card, the card you are thinking of right now.....
The nine of hearts?
If yes, then let me know!

If no, then please truthfully tell me the card you thought of.




oh and i do have an insurance for the 5 of hearts!

I saw a film called "The Prestige" yesterday. It changed something in me. Very rarely do movies affect me so much. I went to see this after waiting for 6 hours. Not that there was a rush, but because the show was at that time only! This movie is about two magicians who live and fight amongst themselves to find out who is the ultimate magician. That is not what moved me.

What moved me was the little things they introduced in the movie. The title is one of it. I have been doing magic as a hobby for the past 8 years now. No, none of those fancy stage stuff, but close up ones. Never once did I have something of this scale impress me. I saw the story of two men who live their act. I saw how much stuff was there in the history of magic. I saw how fierce magic really was. But I also saw the true gems within. The magic is wonderful as long as they keep guessing how its done. Its not just the secret, but how you use it that is powerful. Right thoughts put in a beautiful way. Its not enough to make something vanish. Its important to bring it back.. That's the Prestige. I make things vanish in my hands. But from today, I will improvise on methods to bring it back. I have tried a lot of stuff. Now is the time to refine it.

Is it becoming more than a hobby? "Are you watching closely?"